Do you have people in your life that really really piss you off?!
Do you want to know why?
How would you like to uncover the secret to why people piss you off – and what you can do about it?
Before we begin, I’d love to start with a quick story about myself. My last relationship was really tough, I spent so much time and energy getting so angry and frustrated at her and the way she was being. So many little tiny things would set me off. I remember getting angry because she would talk really loudly, or the way she sat or a particular dress she would wear would get me so frustrated. Until one day, she asked me a really profound question, a question so profound that it literally changed my life…
So you’ve probably noticed that there a lot of people around you that set you off. It might be one of work colleagues, a family member or your current lover. And there’s probably people on your live who remind you of a past lover – you do your best to either confront them or avoid them.
Now why is that? Why are there people who we hardly even know, who just seem to really really get our emotions bubbling over?
We spend our life trying to change them – if only they were quieter, if only they didn’t complain so much, if only they… Sometimes it seems like a life mission to change these people to be more like us!
The question I have for you is:
OUT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE WHO PISS YOU OFF – WHO’S THE COMMON PERSON?
Yes, that’s right, who’s the common person in all of these situations?
I bet some of you are pretty angry RIGHT NOW, thinking – “are you seriously saying that I have something to do with this?”
Yes, you do.
You’ve probably heard so many people telling you that you’re just like your mother, or just like your father. At first you don’t believe it then after a while you’re like – yep, I can’t believe I’ve turned out like my parents! Have you noticed that some of the things that piss you off about them – you end up doing the same things. What’s it like when you do? You probably have a bit of a laugh and brush it off.
Now one of the most amazing things about a relationship, is that they are designed to teach you something – if you’re open to seeing it. The things we hate most about other people are ultimately things that we have in ourselves. They remind us of a part of us that we’ve buried deep down and locked away because we don’t want to face it.
A classic example of this is a friend or somebody you know who keeps attracting partners who treat them like dirt. You’ve probably heard them saying why do I keep ending up with somebody who cheats on me or treats me like crap. You see deep down, they’re actually treating themselves like crap. Their partners are simply there to awaken them to this and set them free.
Where in your life are you treating yourself the same way that your partner is pissing you off?
A Better Relationship – How?
Have you noticed that when you resolve some part of you, that thing no longer annoys you AND you actually start to attract better relationships?
You see the more you’re willing to be open to learnings about yourself and resolve those learnings – the more free you’re going to be. The person who has had the abusive relationship, realises that they’re actually beating themselves up inside and starts on a path of repair – actually starts to attract new people into their lives. I’ve seen it countless times – people who were almost to the point of suicide – literally changing their lives around and being the most precious gifts to humanity.
And then what happened…
So back to my earlier story. The question was “do you love yourself!” This question literally had me completely stunned, like a deer in headlights. I stopped to process this question then broke down in tears. You see, in that split second she’d uncovered one of my biggest learnings about myself. I’d spent so much of my love judging others and putting down others – where in fact I’d been doing that to myself my whole life. I’d learned to not like myself.
This question started a journey for me to accept and love myself, to forgive myself for all my parts that I didn’t like.
I now live in a world of acceptance of others. Sure there’s still a long way to go, but I’m now open to explore when somebody triggers anger, or frustration and to ask myself – what is it about myself that I can learn from them?