A good friend once said to me that his life seemed pretty peachy. He owned his own business, he worked hard and he got the results that he’d been striving for. But something seemed to be missing. He had a beautiful waterfront house, a really cool car which all of us envied and plenty of cash.
In that same conversation he also got really honest and opened up to me. You seen he felt pretty empty. He had all these great things and plenty of people labelled him as being successful, but it just didn’t seem enough.
To make matters worse, this feeling of emptiness seemed to be taking it’s toll on the business.
So I gave him some advice. This advice was completely left field for him and he’d been as he’d been avoiding this topic for years.
But sure enough, he took my advice and something amazing happened to his business.
Do you own or run a business and work pretty hard?
Do your friends give you label of successful?
Do you feel like there’s something missing?
Today we’re going to look at that part of business that only some people seem to take notice . We’re going to take a look at how a simple change in your lifestyle can have a dramatic effect on your business and help it cement in that solid foundation that it needs to survive and flourish.
Today we’re going to take a look at how working hard can damage your business but from a completely different angle – that angle is the relationship angle. And we’ll be looking at how having a relationship can actually drastically improve your business.
Now most business owners who work hard and leave the relationship part for “later on” tell me that they’re too busy for a relationship – “it will happen once this product is launched” or “I’m just not that sort of person.”
The reality is that all human beings no matter how much they don’t want to admit it, at the deepest level crave connection. The truth is, a lot avoid the connection to avoid the pain of the past.
Most people I’ve worked with who work really hard and fill their lives to the brim – have some earlier trauma or event that they just don’t want to deal with. Working hard keeps them safe and helps them numb themselves to the original pain.
The sad part is that in the long term, their business suffers. Business itself is all about connection, helping people solve a problem and creating a lifestyle. If you haven’t resolved that pain in yourself, you’re business will eventually crumble – after all – who wants to do business with somebody who avoids connecting with their customers.
The great part about this is there are a myriad of ways to seek assistance with this these days. My advice, is to approach an expert who you would love to work with. A good expert will help you uncover what exactly is going on for you and what the REAL reason is for your avoiding a relationship.
All it takes on your part is the commitment to open your mind, try something new and be ready to reap the rewards.
Once you’ve worked with an expert to release the root cause of the problem you should find that you will naturally feel inclined to want a relationship AND you’re more likely to find a much higher calibre person than you’ve ever thought possible.
The remarkable thing about having a relationship as a business owner is that is sets up an environment where your business will dramatically improve. There’s a plethora of answers that one can list on how a relationship can benefit a business including:
- Taking time out to recharge your batteries and eliminate stress.
- Having a feeling of positiveness and happiness can drastically increase clarity.
- There’s now another person to bounce business ideas off.
- You now have another person who believes and supports your vision of the business.
- There’s now somebody to help look after you when times are tough.
As I said, this list is just the tip of the iceberg, there are literally of thousands of reasons why a partner can help your business.
Continue being open and working on yourself during the relationship. One of the most important lessons I learnt about a relationship is that your partner is there to teach you about yourself. Any time you’re triggered or have a thought about your partner – it’s a reflection of yourself.
This is completely important to help you continually grow. Say for instance you get angry when your partner pulls a certain face. When you get down to it – that face reminds you of a person in your past who teased you at school. Something as simple as that can help you with your clients – imagine a client displaying a particular facial expression and instead of feeling angry – you feel calm, peaceful and can now do business with them.
This is all great but…
So, what happens if your relationship doesn’t work out – again? This is a great opportunity to learn more about yourself. Yes, there’s likely to be a period of grieving and hardship but it will pass. Once the emotion has dropped away, that’s when you get the learnings.
Secondly, what happens when your partner starts to want more from you? Well, this is where you get to set some boundaries – it’s totally fine to have a boundary around your business AND a boundary around your relationship – as long as you stick to your boundaries – after all, we teach people how to treat us – set up a boundary of how many hours you will spend with your partner, enforce it and they’ll respect it.
And what happens when you and your partner decide to grow a family? Well, this is where the fun really starts – this is where your leadership qualities really get to shine. You’ll be the master of balancing your time, your energy and focus between your wife, your new child and your business. Imagine mastering that!
So back to our business owner. The conversation was, yes you guessed it, about him finding a relationship. He sought out an expert, released some pretty deep seated emotions that were crippling his business and created the freedom to allow a woman in his life.
He’s now married with his first child. He continuously tells me how grateful he is for that first conversation and for finding the courage to jump into the unknown. I hope this article will help and inspire you to create a dream life through your dream relationship and following your passion – successfully – through your business.