Have you ever been out, got a lady’s number, then sat there for the next few days asking yourself when you should call her?
According to most people, when you meet somebody you really like, you get their number, say you’ll call them, then wait 3 days before you pick up the phone. I ask those people: Since when did “talking to somebody you like” become a game and what are all these rules for?
You’ll start reading the guts of this topic in second, but lets learn something from an experience that broke all the rules!
When I met the woman of my dreams (in a pub), we chatted for a couple of hours, I walked her to a cab, got her number and watched the cab drive away. And then I did something that everyone gasps at. I contacted her straight away! Yes, that’s right, literally as the cab was still in eye sight, I sent her a text message asking her out. There’s a LOT of blokes out there who probably think I’m completely nuts. AND there’s a lot of women out there who probably think that I’m completely mad. You want to know what happened next? Read on…
The Law of Diminishing Intent
Have you noticed times in your life when you get super motivated or excited about something – e.g. you want to find a new job. Your mind stays excited for a short time then eventually starts to come up with a whole bucket load of reasons why you shouldn’t do it. Well, this is a common thing known as the Law of Diminishing Intent.
This law basically states:
The longer you leave something, the less likely that you’ll do it!
The same thing happens when you’ve just got a lady’s phone number. You probably get really excited, have every intention of calling her, then wait the “required” 3 days until you call her. Meanwhile, your mind is coming up with all the reasons why you shouldn’t call her.
During that 3 days, she’s usually thinking you’re not going to call her and she starts to lose interest. The result, you’ve got 2 people who are rapidly losing interest in catching up with each other and a whole bunch of people influencing them both to continue playing the 3 day game…
So by now you’ve probably woken up to the fact that relationships can be like games. Follow most people and you’ll be playing the dating game – which is ultimately a power struggle. Now, who REALLY wants to being a power game into a relationship? (Watch out for a new post about power struggles and how you can avoid them).
Ask yourself seriously, would you rather be trying to struggle for a perceived power, or would you rather just chill out and be yourself?
Break the rules, not the law
So why not ask her out straight away? How about calling the next morning after you’ve both spent a couple of hours recovering from your hangover. You might be surprised that she’ll be excited to hear from you. You might even find that she’ll say yes to a date.
Be somebody who’s different, somebody’s who actually shows an interest and somebody who takes a risk in their lives.
If she says no then she was probably more likely to say no after the 3 days any way. At least this will free you up to find another lady who you really like, really soon…
BUT, if she says yes, then “hey presto!” you get to go out with her sooner.
So… my story…
So I asked out this lady literally as I watched the cab drive away. She replied early the next morning and we ended up going out on a date. That lady is actually the love of my life. I took a risk, I knew that I liked her and it ended up being one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life. Get ready for wedding bells guys…