A lot of clients I work with ask the question – “how do I know that I’m with the right woman?”
Remember your first job? What were you looking for in that job? Most people start off looking for money, career growth, or just something to brag to their mates about. After a couple of years, most people find they’ve outgrown that job to find a new one. Why? They’ve matured a lot, learnt as much as you could from that job – or the job just didn’t meet their expectations any more.
Your next few jobs normally take a bit more thought. You’d had a taste of a couple of jobs, are more qualified and more aware of what you like in a job. If it satisfied your needs and you like the company, then you’re probably be willing to stay a long time.
So why would the woman you’re with be any different to a job???
Now before you start thinking you’ve got to trade in your woman every two years read on…
Yes, women you’ve been in a relationship with can be viewed like the jobs you’ve had. Some will teach you a lot, some will be amazing and some you’ll outgrow.
So the question “have I found the right woman” can be answered in three ways:
– Is there something I can learn about myself by staying with her?
– Have I completely outgrown her?
– Are we content and on the same path?
So this is where things get interesting. If you’re constantly attracting relationships that you’re not happy with, modern thinking says you’re not with the right person and you should exit and find a new one.
I challenge this thinking and say the more you try to avoid these types of relationships, the more they’ll be in your life – whether it be work, your family, your friends or your partner. You’ve probably heard yourself saying this about your friends – “they keep going out with same the type of person – what’s wrong them?” Consider that these relationships are happening for a reason – to teach you something about yourself. Have you got unresolved anger or guilt? Do you constantly beat yourself up and abuse yourself inside? Resolve these and you’ll start to attract relationships that you’re happy with.
Ultimately, only you can ever answer whether you’re in the right relationship – if it feels wrong – then consider that it is wrong for you, if it feels right – then consider it it right for you. Not what your friends or family think is right or wrong – ultimately it’s your life and your choice.
The amazing thing about the women you’re with is that sometimes the experience is the best bit. Throw away all the analysis of whether you’re meant to be, or is she the right one or is there somebody better and just enjoy her!
So, the top 10 signs… well, my top 10 signs
1. You think she’s the hottest thing since sliced bread, even if other people don’t
2. Every day you think you’re so lucky that you’re with her
3. When you make love, the earth jumps off axis
4. You’re excited about her getting wrinkly and old
5. You both want the same things in life (well, the big things, maybe you don’t want a Channel handbag)
6. No matter what happens, you feel like you’ve got each other’s back
7. You learn from her all the time
8. You enjoy doing the same things
9. You both drink beer lol
10. You love to laugh, cry, sing, wake up and fall asleep in each other’s arms.
Oh, and one big difference between a woman and job – you generally don’t commit your whole life to a job.